Gods Trying to Be Human

Arthur's Bay, CMLT-919 [04/12/2022]
[Conversation between the Roundtable and the Cherubs and SERAPH]

ANGEL: Hello, Seraph

SERAPH: Sup, Arch

ANGEL: I would like to talk about the nature of your universe.

SERAPH: Sure, go ahead.

ANGEL: Firstly, I would like to mention how interesting it is that our languages are phonetically identical and identical in grammar as well. What did you say your language is again?

SERAPH: Oh, it’s called English in my universe. In our universe, Camelot is a mythical kingdom only in fables. England took over most of the world so, English is the most spoken language

ANGEL: Astounding. How fortunate for Camelotian and English to be extremely similar.

WITCH: Do you guys have magic?

SERAPH: Magic? No, no magic. That’s also a fictitious concept where I’m from.

WIZARD: Then how do you explain your elemental abilities?

SERAPH: These? [A sound of fire and electricity crackle] They’re all within my body. My cells are different from regular human’s. As are most of my people. We’re called Elysians, the name kind of explains itself. Our biology is entirely different from a human’s. Each person is different. Like Here Lies Fate, she turned into a whole Druid.

FATE: As strange as it sounds, I was a Human before. Sometimes I don’t wish to see the Absolute Fate.

SPECTER: How the hell do you explain shit like that then?

SERAPH: Oh that? Well that’s because Alternatives and Elysians have a chance of connecting to one of our universe’s realms. Like me, I was a “normal” Elysian before I became connected with the Immortal Realm. El Diablo is connected to the Gone Realm and can summon demons. Here Lies Fate uses Voyd, Sanction, and the Underworld. It’s a phenomenon that not many of us can explain. It just happens. Not even Jehv can really explain it.

ANGEL: Ah yes, this “Jehv” you talk about. Who is he?

FATE: He is God.

[Silence in the room for a few moments]

SPECTER: Repeat that?

FATE: The being that is lovingly called Jehv by our team is the God of our universe.

REPTILE: And you guys just casually mention him? Like that’s not a huge damn thing?

FATE: Have you not met your god? Do you have one?

SPECTER: No comment

FATE: I see.Well, Jehv is our advisor in a way.

SERAPH: We’re kind of best buds. In fact he’s in this room right now.

[A metallic sound is heard and then a wooshing]

JEHV: Howdy

SPECTER: What the fuck?

JEHV: What a potty mouth. Almost worse than this kid

SERAPH: I don’t curse THAT much.

JEHV: Have you heard yourself?

SERAPH: Okay maybe I curse a bit.

VOID: How did you two meet each other?

SERAPH: In a church. I was looking to a pastor for help and he was disguised as one.

JEHV: I knew it would happen so I came there preparing before he came in. I had to test him to see if he was really the latest of the Credence Family. Good thing I did.

ANGEL: So it was you who told me to prepare when I was in that strange place…

JEHV: Hey, you’re just as smart as your other part here. Yeah, I pulled every version of you guys into Heaven to talk to you. You all have a very big role to play. There’s more than the Leviathan out there. You all need to be ready for it.

WITCH: Yes, we have a few…thoughts on a certain being.

IMPERIALIST: Who would that be?

VOID: Classified information for now.

FATE: [giggles]

REPTILE: What are you laughing about?

FATE: Classified information has no meaning for me. I have already foreseen it.

STRONGMAN: Did you breach our security?

FATE: No, no. It’s part of my ability. I know everything that is and will be. But I can also change what could be or prepare you for what will be.

SERAPH: Here Lies Fate can see the future basically and change it at will. So, she already knows the threat you guys are talking about.

THUNDER: Why don’t we have an anomaly like that?

ANGEL: Outstanding. Your world is like…an Olympus for us. Full of gods.

SERAPH: Well. that’s our curse I guess. None of us asked to be this way. I just wanted to be human but I’ve long accepted that I am what I am now. It gets tiring a lot of times but it’s my mission and my duty. To protect my universe, and everyone else’s.

ANGEL: It must be a heavy burden on your part. On all of yours.

KAM: Being one of the only humans kind of makes me jealous but I still pull my own weight.

SERAPH: We wouldn’t be here without Kam. One of the MVPs. Our universe may be a shithole but it would’ve been worse without him.

ANGEL: Well, hearing all of this has helped me gauge your universe and the people inside it. I value this conversation very much.

SERAPH: Hey, maybe you could swing by one time. We’ll hold a nice dinner for you all. The entire Group.

ANGEL: I would appreciate that, if you let me help with making the dinner.

SERAPH: Fuck yeah of course you can.

ANGEL: Wonderful! I will be eagerly awaiting your invitation!

[AUDIO LOG END]